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I am "Rainy" (Reynier Tasico)

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James Morrison Feat. Nelly Furtado,
Maximum Hit Music 2009 Volume 1

It was a gloomy night. The night was covered with darkness, and moderate rain falls on every roof top I see as my tears started to crawl on my cheeks. My eyes were now weary, and red. Yet, sleep won’t knock first. I reckon that night was, also sad like me. Shedding tears at every downfall we get.

Last couple of years ago, I was a bit of an antisocial guy from the campus even my classmates felt my strange aura after seeing me. Yet, I met this guy that whom transferred to another school for some personal matter. He was the only I could confide with everything, and share almost of my belongings. *Almost* I was a little bit surprised after learning that we’ve comparisons at what we may call hobbies, in spite of his appearance I may rate him from 3 over 5 based on the gap between us. You know. 

However, our bonds, and friendship grew strong along with the class. We’ve learned a lot of things, yet I discovered this thoughts, and feelings from the others which, I discerned that never be able to felt before from other individuals, except from my family, relatives, and close friends. I felt that I am now tearing social barriers, and somehow peeking at it’s heart. Mixed feelings swelled up inside me, and honestly I was a little bit shock on what I did. I connected a bridge with a total stranger! I told myself that this is a talent from god.

Days passed, until months. I met this cutie from a distant department. It started from the rebuking statement I spouted from my mouth. Disgusts, and criticisms fell on on that like a volley of arrows, yet I anticipate for the actual conversation. I planned to trick him, so that I could somehow knew him. Sweat, and fast heart beats are what I felt that moment. He chided me on the accident I’ve made, yet I pursed my lips, and told him that “It was just an accident!” I reckon he was convinced by my plot. Although, deep inside I somehow knew it that he was right, and I was wrong. 

Now, after such incident I felt disturbed, and not in composure. I think deep, and occupied for being guilty of doing such act. I say that it was purely a talent of mine, In spite of the back firing effects of it that felt like curse. Even now this feeling of curse, and whenever I became close. Jealousy, and expectations are what I feel as the curse. You know what? It pains me whenever I receive such short act of affection. Because the importance it gives to me, and even more the protection I wanted. Love is at it seems. This curse made a scar on my soul it was so deep, and painful yet yearns for affection.

As I end it now, the curse showed me that every time I plan on something ahead. I promise that god knows how to defy me, and control me again. Because I am no god to manipulate people’s behavior, yet I see it as a talent of mine to see the real person inside of these lumps of flesh I see.

lood boils, Unquenchable thirsts, Worldly desires, Sex,  Stealing, Homicide, and Gluttony. These acts were demons that took form as temptations brooded in my head as a young adult. Indeed, it was really defeating to be submissive by these demons, and plainly blunt stupid.

However, these demons inside of us were somehow I find easy to be triumphed over the hardest situations I reckon.

First: Anger, and too much happiness

I admit that sometimes I am almost at my peak of being devoured by my indulgence of what am I doing. In terms of social situation. I am crippled for a minute, then finds my way out from madness by calming, and deep breathing in a spacious area to cool off my anger or get away from others for a while. Even though, it is somehow disturbing.

Second: Resentment, and Envy

To be honest, I curse, and kill people in my minds while I am talking to them whenever I feel these demons. The thirst for kills, and jealousy of their possessions. I was ashamed to be tempted so much with the others, yet I contemplate, and think rigorously of every acts that I do, because I know that I will be sent in jail in no time if I did those acts.

In the end, like me. We need to think first of the possible consequences of our actions. Make a list of pros., and cons. Until, you know. Solve it.

04/19/2014

My left foot’s tarsal bone navicular still swells up with searing pain, yet I am still grateful for this kind of thing came up from the recent walk-athon that has been done yesterday. In spite of the nature of the connotation that Black Saturday brings bad luck, in regards if the belief that yesterday was Christ death anniversary.

Turning back the time. Yesterday Saturday afternoon, I met my friends at Cubao finding that half of the expected numbers where there. Also, that day made my day from hell to heaven. We all of the remaining pals, where still being waited for much of a time unto night time. Naturally, as we wait. We find to kill time for them, because we still love them, in spite of their horrid schedules.

Yet, once again.  A new crush of mine from the group responded to all of my questions as we enjoy them while waiting. Although, that reason made me somehow loosen. I lost senses in terms of emotions, because he suddenly sided with someone I find close to him. I felt stings in my chests, and my blood rushes into my head as anger did conquer me.  “Daamn! *Curses*” as I muttered with myself while looking to him with another person.

At first, as I thought that it was too early to be love, because I met that guy months ago, and lost of words for being possessive. Like Annabeth’s fatal flaw, nor Athena’s child has the flaws of being possessive with their friends. Yet, goes with flow calm, wise, and belligerent like a river.  Like a river. I was somehow hostile, and intimidating with that new friend of mine. I was angered by their long talks, and anything else. Indeed, it was a misfortune.

In fact, all of my friends including me somehow walked dozen of miles, from Marikina unto Antipolo City. Believe me, it is so physically tiring, yet mentally flourishing. My hates burned myself, even in the next day at Jake’s house. I somehow cooled down myself brooding, and venting everything up to Tito through personal chatter with tita. Yet, the day went to a time killing spree with gang until we’ve took our bath, and make a move to go the infamous Mystica Cave.

As I, with my friends were astonished,and somehow breathless at the tour we were currently taking. I don’t feel my body worn out, nor exhausted. Yet, I was hysterical, and angry at the tour guide we have, because of the hypocritical spiels she was saying, and I HATE that. Not until, the tour ended with some pop quiz feeling after feeling, and relieve for climbing the peak of the pilgrimage site.

Reminiscing the feelings at the peak was relieving, and refreshing. The air soothes the tired mind, and body. Although, I found scented candles are everywhere near the posted crucifix there after taking picture with the guys. Nonetheless, keeping in mind that it took time for use to go down the steeps, and rocky hillside. I felt that searing pain in my naviscular as I slide down. You know, we came down hard as limestone, and took bonding time with the others as we walk, because the trike drivers were so stingy of their proclaimed fairs as a local. Yet, found time, and demise  as we walked another hardships toward the terminal going to the city, and look for another fare to Cubao.

Honestly, it was really educational, yet expensive tour. As we go down through the fares, and everything. We came to a stop for the departing time for everybody else. I was almost hysterical, and dumbfounded, because the guy with me will never be sweet for me as of the moment again, like what he did at the bay waiting for the ride. It made my heart raced, and my soul into peace. It did anguished my fiery hated, after the small fight. I felt loved. Although, that ended there like I depict it is now at the crossing. I felt another loving hugs from everybody, and especially from him. The hug wasn’t short, yet I felt short handed, and wanting for more, then repeated at giving hugs for everybody, until he gave a high five with a smile. I smiled back, and feeling that I was “friendzoned” with that held hands high five.

Selfism: The Art of Selfishness

Everyday I always smile, and thanking god for sparing my life from the possibility of death on the next morning like no others.Thus, I felt so special for giving me another chance to live with this exoskeleton having these unique human traits such as individualism, et al.

Yet,  the feeling of having no dupes from the others aside from my belief of the way I was created by God is so great. Nonetheless, someone has the outrageous idea to do such abominable act,  in spite of the present advance technology in our surroundings that could such a feat. That’s why I am a concerned for their actions.

Furthermore, these acts of selfishness reached to the point of taking continuous pictures of themselves without the regard of possible criticism that may took for such act depending upon the situation. Yet, in time I believe that they will change for good.  Because (Y.O.L.O.) You Only Live Once